just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
