Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
