You're completely useless in the revolution.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
