Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
