Dual....:-)
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
