Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
