i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
