I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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