I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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