he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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