i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
