I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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