Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
