Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
