he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
As shirtless as possible
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
