STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
