one might say we're banned from that church
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
