bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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