Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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