Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
