90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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