your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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