is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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