apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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