my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
