He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
