I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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