You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
do herpes really smell.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
