...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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