he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
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Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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