Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
