whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
