Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
