just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
