He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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