She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
