when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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