walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
