He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
