My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
