thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
