i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
