glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize