We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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