Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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