Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
