I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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