I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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