I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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