life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
