is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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