there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
