Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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