Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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