Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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