I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
