my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
