We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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