My nipple is on Facebook.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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