Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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